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What it's like to be AS

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What It's Like To Have Aspergers

Our world can be rather isolated. The inability to socially interact in an acceptable way to others can be quite frustrating for us.

It is a fact that everyone with Aspergers Syndrome is totally different in personality. The only similarities are the behaviour traits. A lot of people who have AS have said that they try hard to act like other people  but somehow end up failing. Relationships are very hard to come by as none of us know how to naturally act around people. It becomes all about putting on an act to the world because being yourself can put people off. It can be tremendously stressful to not be accepted by people. The constant trying to prove your positive points, while the world focus's on Aspergers negative points gets so tiring for us. 


On to the subject bullying. All of the people with AS that have came to this website have been bullied in some way. That could be because bullies can pick up on our social vulnerability, because a lot of us can't pick up people's intentions and wouldn't realise that others could pick up our unwritten body language. The bullies also know that if they pretend to be a friend then the person with AS is less likely to report their bullying. This happens at schools all the time. I'd advise people with AS to look at their friends behaviours more closely and try and figure out their intentions. If anything doesn't feel right, end the friendship and don't be taken for a fool.

Even for neurotypical people the world is a confusing place especially when you're a child or a teenager, continually learning what life is about. Neurotypical people pick up the way society is socially quite easy because they seem to be able to just watch others around them while they're growing up and automatically learn. Unfortunately, people with AS don't find this comes naturally. Look around and you will see the whole world revolves around social interaction to keep it going, and seeing as we don't know social things automatically, it can make living life in that type of world very difficult.

This means that quite a lot of people with AS are cut off from the world. There have been  many parents who have came to this website. They state that their children spend all their time in their bedrooms. Their children even take their dinner to their bedrooms to avoid parents, family members, siblings and any social contact in general. Some of them have access to the internet and chat on there. This is a far from ideal life though. Bill Gates who designed Microsoft allegedly has AS. This fact has never been proven. He designed a computer operating system as everyone knows because he is probably the richest men in the world. Maybe that's why Aspergers can link up with computers because their brain is compatible with it and works better than it ever has done with people and socializing. Maybe Bill Gates designed Microsoft for a reason (aside from the business money making). Maybe at one point it was his escape from the world. We'll never know that for sure but it's just an idea.

Further thoughts ...

The AS life can be very lonely and isolated. We do want to socialise but somehow we feel like we are disconnected from other people.

There are times when people's reactions and intentions are very confusing for us. We may not look hurt but we are at times. There are a lot of us that feel we can't reach our aspirations because of the way we are affected by our disability. It is a life that consists of standing back to watch, rather than joining in. It's true when people say it feels like being in a bubble because you can see what's going on around you, but you never feel involved. It feels like not being able to touch the world. It's also true what people say, it can get better as you get older. Once you've developed a sense of who you are (an identity) that's a start. Many of us never develop that but still you do seem to feel better as you mature.



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