This is only going to be short. I found out the truth tonight. I have been very mean about someone and I shouldn't have done that. I genuinely got the wrong idea because of things I wasn't told and things implied to me at that time. I was basically led to believe that the other person had back stabbed me intentionally. Until I happened to get talking to one of their friends that came to defend them. I feel absolutely terrible now that I know what went on. However, I've wanted to know the truth for a long time. I feel more able to function in every day life now. I'm still cut up over what has happened and the fall out etc. I shouldn't have had to hear what I heard from their friend. They apparently did stick up for me a huge amount before I got kicked out of university. I was led to believe that they were some kind of narcissist by the people around me. I only ever wanted to know the truth. I was asking that of people around me, but no one was telling me. I laid into the one person I cared about who actually never betrayed me like I was led to believe. I was played off against the other person and I now feel terrible for snapping and threatening them. They will never forgive me. But they were someone that I will always care about. I'm a very angry person because of the things I've been put through. And to be honest, I've never known anyone enter my life that hasn't done dirty on me. Their friend explained to me how the other person felt and that they weren't like that.
I got things so wrong. The things I was led to believe weren't true and I threatened them based on what I was told. I really hope that things are sorted out and I am forgiven one day. I'm quite strong minded. The principles I hold will probably always get me enemies. I'm quite a strong character. I do not have many female friends because they clash with me. But this has all been a misunderstanding. I'm not a mean person for no reason. I honestly thought that I was being attacked and cornered when all this occurred. I was stupid and immature to believe what I was being told. I can only apologise. I wish that I could turn the clock back. I'm no threat to the other person. I was attempting to protect myself because I was to told by everyone around me that the other person was an awful person. There's no one I'd rather grow up to be like. I looked up to them and if I'd have known the truth back then or anything that their friends told me, none of what was said would have been said. I know that doesn't make it right. I only want to make the other person proud of me. I didn't want to upset them. I may act a little abrupt sometimes (especially when I am annoyed about something). However, I'm a caring person. I was in a complete mess after I lost my son to adoption. I couldn't trust anyone. None of what I said was personal. And they have no need to fear me now I know the truth. I was only biting back because I had been told certain untruths to the situation.