What is the difference between a person that wants to cause damage to someone else and someone that causes damage to another because of being damaged themselves?
Our experiences in life have a major impact on how we perceive the world and the people around us. Psychology studies have proven that each situation we come across in our life goes through an unconscious process of being compared with previous life events inside our minds. Those perceptions are projected onto those situations we come across in every day life. This affects how we react to things. We can potentially see an event in a negative light, even if it is positive. This is due to our last experience of similar feelings or situations being similar enough to create the link within our minds. There are also interesting study findings regarding the fact that we do not remember an event itself, but only the last memory we have of event. And this apparently changes over periods of time. I’m not sure whether this is the same for an Autistic mind. I have a photographic memory (always handy to use it for exams etc), which entails being able to remember complete conversations (like a tape recorder). This isn’t a subject that we are going to cover in this article; however, I feel that this is an interesting fact.
Those that are dangerous are those types of personalities that are predatory towards those individuals within vulnerable categories. There are many cruel people in this world without any excuse whatsoever that will just pick on those weaker than them because they find it entertaining. Those that are damaged are individuals whom aren’t malicious in their actions, or at least not their intent. Their words and actions are mostly caused by fear from the other events of their life. Victims of abuse don’t truly ever trust another person ever again. Their mistrust and suspicion for other people are very much prominent in their head on a daily basis. Every single relationship or friendship that they embark on is forever tarnished by those past experiences that damaged the individual. The slightest bit of tension between them and another person can send the defence’s sky high and lead to situations that potentially could cause more damage. There can literally be flashbacks in a person’s head which can affect their response to a situation that is currently in their present. There are also triggers that can set someone off on a negative emotional response. These have been as simple as a word that an abuser said to them. There is no way of knowing the triggers for a damaged person. That is something you’re just going to have to ride out if you’re in a relationship or friendship with them. There is always a chance that the relationship/friendship will fizzle out before that point is reached. The emotionally damaged individuals effectively give up on relationships, or go to the other extreme where they act cold and detached towards their friends or partners. There is a lot of darkness internally that those around them do not see. It feels painful to be close to another person because they’re close enough to take an opportunity to do something further damaging to you. These damaged individuals do not look sad all the time. Some of them have learned to put on a smile on top of all the emotionally distressing memories that go through their mind on a daily basis.
There is an important need to point out the differences between dangerous and damaged because there are many damaged people getting labelled as dangerous. Subsequently, the damaged people aren’t getting the appropriate help because it is assumed that they are making a conscious choice to act in malice, e.g. lose their temper and say things that sound extremely awful. Their potential friends or partners assume that the damaged are the same as the awful dangerous individuals out there. Therefore, they end up isolated and alone. This isn’t the kind of life that the damaged want to live. There is some truth that those whom are damaged do like to be alone because they need a break from people. But, they can’t be not around people all the time because the trauma engulfs them and tortures them mentally when they’re alone permanently.