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Life On The Autistic Spectrum by David Merril Gill

Life on the autism spectrum has been sheer hell for me. As to what diagnosis I have from psychiatrists/psychologists, I really am not sure if it's High-Functioning Autism or Asperger's Syndrome, so I really don't know if I am someone with AS or someone on the spectrum. Born Thursday, October 14, 1971 in Walnut Creek, California, in John Muir Hospital that still stands there today.


It seemed my older sister was more accepting of me, my older brother though, I would say not as much. He did call me an idiot as a child growing up whenever I got into stupid accidents. I also remember sometimes my mother dubbed me a "space case."


Other childhood memories include my playing story albums from the Disneyland Records label, viewing a lot of television, playing with toys, including building blocks, Hot Wheels cars, and even though having a handful of friends at the Childhood Resource Center that I was taken to regularly in Walnut Creek, California or nearby Alamo where the first house I lived in was, I basically kept to myself. My parents did have their troubles with instructing me, I was foolish enough to fight off their instruction. Had also gotten speech therapy during those years. There is not very much I remember from back then.


In the early to mid-1980s, the bullying at school was a regular occurrence. I had been dubbed retarded, weirdo, you name it. Luckily, the staff at where I went to junior high school; Creekwood Middle School, most of them were patient with me, took me under their wing, especially teachers and the principals, as well as the principal's office secretaries.


Most of the time during my years in school, I had been in Special Education, or as the Humble Independent School District called it; Special Services. I took only a handful of Regular Education classes in junior high and high school, those years were a pain, as were the ones in elementary school. After many struggles, I received my Vocational diploma from the school district in May 1994.


The years of puberty were equally as trying. When it had started, a psychologist I had at that time loaned to me this illustrated book from 1973 titled "What's Happening To Me?" Needless to say, it poisoned my mind and helped to promote the fully or somewhat liberal view of sex and sexuality that I have today; that all those on the autism spectrum ought to have a crack at it. Unless they are very high-functioning like Jerry Newport, his spectrum wife Mary, Temple Grandin or Donna Williams, the marriage arena is not likely, as I don't feel it will be for me either, my explanation is coming up shortly. Thus, I see the waiting until marriage to do the deed, so to speak, as malarkey, which brings me to again say that autistic people should get to do it, but in a responsible manner. That though is for another writing.


Speaking of a responsible manner, that's what I wish I had adopted on Monday, September 5, 1988, when I had my one and only experience so far of sexual intercourse. It was with a Down's Syndrome female who shall remain nameless. That day, I had gently guided her upstairs to the second floor bathroom, I didn't think of checking to see if her room door locked. Then gently helped her off with her clothes, followed by mine, we then went to work at copulation. The reason I did it is because I didn't feel (and still don't) that one day I would be married. To me, the only reason other than procreation that the Lord God created females for is to provoke the male libido, a belief view that that book on puberty placed in my head. I know females are human beings too, but as I have said, that's best left for another writing.


After obtaining my Vocational diploma, I would attend community college beginning in September 1994. Other than my having done database work for a business that bussed people to gambling casinos in Louisiana and doing a newsletter for truckers when I was taking a Desktop Publishing course, I have mainly been striking out at getting into the world of work.


Two years prior to that time, I had lived in a duplex in San Antonio that the Autistic Treatment Center paid the rent on, where I had a houseparent and two roommates. I stayed there until late in January 1994. During my time living in the area, I did work in the mailroom of San Antonio Credit Union.


There were three relationships I had with autistic women that bombed. The first was from March 2004 to July 2005. We were engaged to be married, but she called it off due to finding me talking to other female people about what she wouldn't touch until getting married, that being sexual activity. Another reason this relationship crashed and burned was because of the distance. Online dating may be a wonderful way to meet people, but to be quite a few states apart really is not worth it. All through childhood to today, companions have been few and far between.


The second relationship went from July to December 2010, this time the autistic woman was from Indiana, but born in Washington State. Why that fell apart was again because of distance and that I wasn't able to go visit her in what would have been our third time together in person. Then the last relationship went from 2011 to January 2014. As with my first, I committed the mistake of talking to other female people about sex and sexuality while missing her, thus that too exploded. To make matters sadder, she and I had seen each other in person only once when she was in the Houston, Texas area for a conference of the Society Of Women Engineers. Other than meeting a Christian neurotypical female on Facebook in July 2014, I have been stumbling from pothole to pothole in the relationship arena.


Career aspirations that I have had and still do include the recording industry, I would have ventured back into it again if my first original Gospel album, Water Of Life, had not been a flop. If MTM Enterprises, the television/movie production company of Mary Tyler Moore still existed, I would have loved to go into acting in one of their sitcoms. Unfortunately the company was bought up along with its production output catalog by 20th Century Fox in 1998. Another career dream was wanting to be a cartoon voice-over artist, including and especially for Hanna-Barbera Productions.


My interests include singing, drum playing, watching DVDs, video production, bowling, reading, collecting sixteen millimeter films. I've tried to get into an autism documentary movie and never made the cut.