Welcome to A.S.S.G.O

It seems that my disability takes over the whole of my life sometimes. I have OCD which I explain the ins and outs to when ever I enter a new friendship in order to save myself emotional pain. But it's not avoiding it anymore, it still happens. I try to make them understand but they still don't get it. I still end up hurting over other people and being alone. You end up not going out trying to avoid the people who you've upset accident. You may as well lock yourself away because the humilliation factor is huge. I have everything going for me but my ocd texting lets me down. I go crazy at people because they just won't get it. I texted someone too much so they blocked me on facebook. They should have blocked my number and left me on facebook because it just makes me angry. I feel extremely hurt over it. People tell me they don't want or can't deal with me having my condition. That hurts me so much. I end up in tears because I'm left on the outside all the time. I'm not a danger. I'm not a mad person. I'm me and I wish people would see that. I'm not that difficult to deal with if people bother to listen and take in the awareness stuff I tell them. It's like talking to a brick wall with other people. It's like they're thick or something. I've got pregnancy hormones swirling round my brain and even I can see more logic than them. I don't see how people can't get it. I think I explain it quite plain and simple. I have already lost a guy that I really liked because of the way my disability affects me. I don't care that if he was a lot older than me. I only ended up texting one of his associates a lot because of missing him. I feel like I don't have a right to feel or that I shouldn't feel things because I will only get emotionally destroyed in the process. I trust no one because of the way I've been treated for things I can't help. I'm always going to have my condition. I have found that no treatments have helped me which means I'm just going to have to live like this. I was born different. This is the way I was suppose to be. I was made this way for a reason. I have been given my disabilities for a reason. It may be horrible but I wouldn't be the person I am today if I'd not faced challenges. I know I'd have became a stuck up selfish cow. I'd only have been out for myself. None of this awareness stuff would have existed. There would have been stuff I'd rather not have been through in my life though. Those are written about in the book that I wrote which people can buy via the website. The sad fact though is that society isn't sophisticated enough or developed enough to accept people like me. I know that people don't believe I'm psychic. They'd rather think I'm crazy than believe I have dreams that predict things which are going to happen. That I'd been snooping rather than picking up information randomly from my surroundings. It's easier for their minds to comprehend. That is why I tell people what I'm like before I get to know them. Therefore they are prepared and although on the last few occassions I haven't avoided getting hurt emotionally, that is basically the idea. I have to go. I'm still being kicked by the baby and as he gets bigger I'm starting to feel more heavy, that's nothing new.