Welcome to A.S.S.G.O

I can't believe it's nearly Christmas already. This year has gone quick. I started off this year off hoping to go to university, but then that all fell through due to stigma I faced about how my disability affects my behaviour sometimes. I have ended the year expecting my first child who will be arriving early april 2012. It seems that things have u-turned into some complete opposite senario that I completely didn't expect. It just shows that life can chance so quickly. This time next year my life will be completely different.

I have wanted a baby for years don't get me wrong. I've just not had the opportunity as I lived in places where I couldn't risk getting pregnant in as I wouldn't be able to keep it where I used to live. I just didn't expect it to happen on the second try. It was all rather quick. It takes some people years to concieve a baby but with me it took about a few times. I may not even be living in the same place soon. The local authorities where I come from want me to go back to live in that county. This is because they have been told that since they can't find any support services to take over down where I currently live then I'm better off to go back home. This is because the authorities where I'm currently living will think of me as vulnerable and always be on my back and it doesn't help with busy body locals saying things to them behind my back. I'm feeling like I'm being forced to move. I have put my name on the housing list back in Leicestershire but I'm not sure I'll be able to move until after the baby is born. I'm planning to renew the tenancy on my current flat in April when it ends and bid on a property to move to in a different area in October. I don't want to be forced into anything. I've agreed to go back, but in my own time. I'm quite reluctant to go back, but I don't want the shit that the local authorities may throw at me here. I'm capable of looking after myself and taking care of my baby. If I have to then I will just to prove to idiots who don't like me locally that they won't win. I'm stubborn and I will do exactly what I want to do in my life regardless what pricks say about me behind my back. I have a very thick skin. If someone tells me I can't, then I will prove I can even if I'm not even sure I can.

I'm volunteering unsocialable hours this weekend. I'm selling raffle tickets in St Alberns which is 40 miles away from me at one of their supermarkets. It's okay I get expenses for petrol or I wouldn't be doing it. It's not too early as it's from 1 till about 4, so not too long. It's taken me a while to sort the website out as I found a lot of our epals addresses no longer work due to how old some of the listings are on here. Some of them date back to when the website had just started. I may be going karaoke tomorrow night, not been for ages, actually can't remember how to sing which is bad for someone who is recording her own songs soon...opps. I'm sure I'll pick it up again within the first few bars of a karaoke song.